Mar 20, 2014
posted in Personal

As Zach and I prepare for the arrival of our sweet boy, Luke, I’ve been reflecting on the past year and the roller coaster we’ve been on throughout this pregnancy. For a quick recap of some of the obstacles we’ve faced the past nine months; I battled all-day “morning” sickness from weeks 8-19, my family lost my precious Uncle Jerry to pancreatic cancer, my sweet cousin Layton to a sudden and turbulent battle with Leukemia, and most recently, my childhood pup and best buddy, Daisy. It’s been a wild ride of emotions to say the least, but there have been many blessings along the way as well, including the incredible outpouring of support and excitement from our family and friends. The more we reflect, the more we thank God for the timing of this baby… he has already brought us so much joy and an unbelievable amount of hope. All in all, I have been blessed to have had a wonderful pregnancy, and we are anxious to meet our son any day now! I wanted to share the first letter I wrote to our unborn child, which was written 2 1/2 months before we found out we were pregnant. I want to remember this precious time forever.

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Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Dear Baby,

This may be strange, but I feel the need and desire to write this letter to you today. You see, after this week, your daddy and I are going to put your life in God’s hands and hope that He decides that it’s your time to start cookin’! We have talked about you so much already sweet baby… our hopes for your life, our fears, our excitement, even our doubts that we will be good parents. We are both terrified and thrilled! We know that you could happen at any time, or it could take a while. Either way, we trust God’s timing completely, and either way, know that you are already a part of our lives. We have been praying for you since your dad and I first started talking about kids while we were dating. We would laugh and cry about our future family as we would sit up late dreaming and talking about our future together… God has shown us time and time again how His timing is perfect and His plans are GOOD, even in the face of tragedy and hard times. Things always work out the way they are supposed to, and I have to keep reminding myself of this as we begin this journey of bringing you into the world.

There is no way of knowing when God wants us to meet you, but in this strange/exciting/scary/exhilarating time of uncertainty, there are a few things I am certain of sweet baby, hence why I am writing this to you now…

  1. God is good, all the time.
  2. Your daddy is the most wonderful and caring man I know and he will be the best dad and father to you. You have hit the jackpot with him as your dad. He will make you laugh and feel love EVERY SINGLE DAY. Of this, I am completely certain…
  3. You will belong to an incredible family of grandparents, great-grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. They will teach you how to love, fight, and how to always be there for each other. They will love you unconditionally.
  4. You will have a second family full of incredible friends your dad and I have been blessed to have in our lives. They will all be like aunts and uncles to you, and they will teach you so much about life and what it means to truly embrace the people you love.
  5. I will make mistakes as a mother. We will fight. You will be annoyed by me. I will say things I don’t really mean at times. There will be many days that you won’t want anything to do with me. All of this will happen, but I’m certain of this; you are my child, my baby, my world. There is NOTHING I won’t do for you. I will hold you when you’re people break your heart, take care of you when you’re sick, laugh and play with you, fight for you, and I will ALWAYS be there for you… NO MATTER WHAT. There is no earthly person in the entire world who will love you more than me, because no matter what, I will always be your momma, and I praise God for that sweet gift. You are mine, and I am yours precious baby… forever and ever.
  6. Last thing, and most important. Your dad and I have no clue what we are doing, but we are going to do our absolute best to raise you to be an astounding human being. While this may sound like a lot of pressure, know that our biggest expectation of you is to thrive as the person God created you to be, in whatever form that may be. Some advice to achieve that? Be adventurous. Be curious. Be humble. Be confident in your own skin. Be strong in your faith and know why you believe what you believe. Ask questions. Take risks. Dream big. Be patient. Work hard. Be kind and share your light with others. Don’t take life too seriously. Know that it’s ok to cry. If you fall, get up and try again. Love others for who they are, even if they think and act differently than you. And most importantly, put your faith and trust in God, even when you don’t want to. We will fumble and have many times when we’re unsure how to direct you, and that’s ok, because there will be many times where only you can and should direct your path. Just know that our intentions are good and we will never stop supporting and loving you unconditionally. We already love you so much. You are wanted and will always be wanted by us. We are your champions and you are ours.

We don’t know what will happen or when you’ll arrive, but we know it’s all part of God’s amazing grace. We can’t fully prepare for you, but we are ready baby, ready for this journey to begin.

Know how ridiculously loved you already are.

Love, Momma

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